Deception of Yitzchak

I want to talk about the famous story in the Torah where Jacob “tricks” his father into giving him the blessing meant for Esau.

If you recall, the story goes something like this… Yitzchak was getting old and wanted to bless his two children. He favoured Esau and wanted to give an extra blessing to him, but Rebecca favoured Jacob and wanted him to get the extra blessing. Yitzchak send Esau out to hunt some dinner so Yitzchak can eat before giving Esau his blessing. Rebecca hears this and tells Jacob to go into the yard and bring a goat so she can prepare some food for Yitzchak. Then tells Jacob to dress in Esau’s clothes and place the goat’s hair on his arms and neck (since Jacob was smooth skinned and Esau was hairy) and go to his father pretending to be Esau, thus tricking Yitzchak into giving Jacob the extra blessing. When Jacob comes before his father in Esau’s clothes, Yitzchak doesn’t believe it is Esau (since their voices were different) so asks to feel his arms. He feels the goat hair and says “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau”. Yitzchak seems to buy the trick and Jacob gets the extra blessing.

The simple reading seems to be a child trying to pull a fast one on his elderly, poor sighted, father. As usual there is much more going on here.

To explain what’s going on here, we need to first need to understand why Yitzchak wanted to give Esau the extra blessing (and why Rebecca knew it had to go to Jacob). Yitzchak knew that his children would have to carry on the mission of Abraham. Doing this required spirituality, since it’s a spiritual mission, but the mission involves changing the world and that required someone with an aggressive personality. Jacob was clearly the spiritual one and Yitzchak knew he would be the one to take the message forward. But Yitzchak felt the Jacob was to passive, so his plan was to give the spiritual blessing to Jacob and a physical one to Esau, and they would work together to carry out Abraham’s mission. Rebecca knew that as long as Jacob was dependant on Esau, the mission would never be carried out.

When Yitzchak says: “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau”, he’s not speaking literally. He knows the person in front of him is Jacob (this is Yitzchak we’re talking about), so how do we interpret that saying?

The voice represents the power of intellect, and the hands represent the power of action. Yitzchak is saying that the person before him has the intellect of Jacob and the action of Esau. He then knew that Jacob would be able to carry out the mission himself, and gave him both the physical and spiritual blessings.

Of course when Esau finds out what happened, he’s not very happy and asks for some sort of blessing. Yitzchak gives the following blessing to him: “Behold, your dwelling place shall be the fat places of the earth and of the dew of the heaven from above. And you shall live by your sword, and you shall serve your brother, and it will be, when you grieve, that you will break his yoke off your neck." Remember that Esau is the father of Rome (and thus the Christians), keep that in mind when you evaluate the accuracy and meaning of this blessing.

Shabbat Shalom

Paraha Toldot – Part 1

There are two stories in this week’s paraha that are potentially troubling. I think I’ll address these two issues at Shabbat dinner.

The first is the story of Jacob buying Esau’s first-born-ship for a bowl of red lentil pottage. The second being the story of Jacob tricking Yitzchak and getting the blessing meant for Esau.

First, the story of the pottage. The text tells us that Jacob was making pottage and Esau comes in from the hunt and tells Jacob he is starving and asks for some pottage. Jacob says he’ll give the pottage if Esau in exchange for Esau’s first-born-ship. Esau says “I’m going to die, what use do I have for the first-born-ship.” The deal is made. Jacob gets the first-born-ship and Esau gets his pottage.

The problem here is that it seems like Jacob took advantage of Esau’s hunger and made him enter into a contact he may not have really liked. If Esau was really dieing of hunger, he’d make just about any deal to get some food. Halacha tells us that a contact entered into under these conditions is not valid. So how do we resolve this problem.

First, some context. The Midrash tells us that the reason that Jacob was making lentil pottage is that it was the day of Abraham’s funeral. Lentils are a traditional food eaten by mourners. So on the day of his grandfather’s funeral, Esau is out hunting. So let’s look at a simple reading of the text and see what it tells us. After the deal was made the text says “And Jacob gave Esau bread and a pottage of lentils, and he ate and drank and arose and left, and Esau despised the birthright.” [Gen:25:34].

The deal seemed to be to sell the birthright for pottage – so where did the bread come from. The commentators tell us that the bread was to make the deal valid. If Esau was really starving, then the deal would be void. So Jacob gave Esau some bread to satisfy Esau’s hunger. Only then did the ask Esau to make the deal. Jacob did not take advantage of his starving brother; he did everything possible to make sure Esau really wanted to make this deal.

Now let’s look at a deeper understanding of the text. When Esau said “"Behold, I am going to die; so why do I need this birthright?"”, [Gen 25:33] what did he mean by that? The simple reading is that Esau was starving to death, but the deeper meaning tells us that the dieing he was refereeing to was not an immediate death – he was talking generally. Esau’s live philosophy was “Eat, drink, for tomorrow we die” - a denial of the afterlife. The birthright is a spiritual blessing, what use does Esau have for that – he was interested in material goods. Going even deeper, Esau knew that the role of the first born was to be the families emissary in the Temple. The temple service required complete concentration – if your thoughts wavered for even a second, you would die on the spot. That’s why there were so many High Priests in the Second Temple – they were never of good character and kept dieing on us. Esau knew that if he was the family’s representative in the temple, he would not be able to do the job and would die. What does he need that tzuris for? What Esau was saying is that he has no use of the birthright; in fact he despises it and would happily sell it for even the smallest material gain (i.e. some pottage). Jacob knew that such a person should not get the blessing of the firstborn.

Next time I’ll talk about the story of Jacob tricking Yitzchak into giving him Esau’s blessing.

Shabbat Dinner

This coming Shabbat, my wife and I will be hosting a Shabbat dinner for our Friends. As RSVP’s come in, it looks like we’ll have 13 people. This will be the first time we come together as a group of friends for Shabbat – hopefully the first of many.

I’m planning this as a traditional Shabbat including a sumptuous meal and some Torah study. I’m not sure which one will be harder to prepare.

The menu is set, and I’ve done the pilgrimage to the kosher supermarket to get the kosher meat. The cooking will be spread out over 3 days … hopefully everything will come together nicely.

Now I need to plan the Torah study. I’ll talk about the weekly Torah portion, but I need to work out specifics. As I figure out what to talk about I’ll port it here.

Wish me luck.

Marriage vs. Creation

The Torah uses words sparingly. The entire story of creation is 31 verses. This week we read about how Abraham’s servant found a wife (Rebecca) for Isaac. This takes 67 verses. This tells us something about the importance of the decision of who to marry.

We also learn something about how choose a spouse. Abraham’s greatest trait was kindness. He was matched with Sarah, whose greatest trait was judgment. They complemented each other, two halves of the same soul. Isaac took after his mother, and was a very good judge. That’s why Abraham’s servant was looking for a woman of total kindness. He looked for a woman who would not only offer him water, but would offer to water his 10 camels. Abraham knew that kindness to animals is a good indication to kindness to people.

Perhaps this is where the concept of “opposites attract” comes from? Your spouse should not be someone who is identical to you in every way, but someone who complements you. Someone who challenges you in the areas you cold improve on, and can learn from you in the areas they can improve on.

I was lucky enough to find a wife who complements me perfectly. We’re both better people because of each other. G-d willing, we will be able to put this to use in raising a family with our combined values.

Shabbat Shalom.

Parashat Chayei Sarah

This week’s parahat starts with the death of Sarah. The text details how Abraham made sure he paid full price for the plot of land where he buried Sarah (which became the Tomb of the Patriarchs – in today’s Hebron). He was offered the land as a gift, but he insisted on paying full price. We need to ask why?

Rashi tells us that it’s because Abraham wanted to make sure no one in the future could come and say we stole the land. The other piece of land that the Torah records the purchase of (for the same reason) is the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. King David bought the land for full value to make sure that the site of the temple can never be claimed by anyone else.

It’s ironic that the two most hotly contested pieces of land today are Hebron and Jerusalem. Apparently, Abraham had very good foresight, but it didn’t seem to help.

The parashat ends with the death of Abraham. Ishamel and Isaac come together to burry their father. Ishamel is that father of Islam, and Isaac is the father of Judaism and Christianity (Isaac’s had two sons, Jacob who father Judaism, and Essau, who fathered the Romans – who became the Christians). The Torah tells us that in the end they all put their differences aside and came together... maybe we will see a parallel some time soon.

The Akedah

Last weeks Torah portion ended with the story of the Akedah – the binding of Isaac. This is one of the most famous stories of the Torah, and one which is often misunderstood.

Rabbi Motty Berger tells a story of a conversation he had with a man a few years ago. The man told the “Rabbi that he doesn’t understand how he expects to be able to “sell” this religion. Your religion tells the story of Abraham, the founder of your religion, who was told by G-d to kill his son, and you take it as an example of what a great man he was that he was willing to do it. You expect to be able to sell a religion like that?”

The Rabbi replies, “OK, so you think Abraham was wrong. So tell me, what would you kill your son for? Picture this, let’s say you’re a good father, and you have a son just turning 18. He comes to you and says ‘Dad, I really respect you, and I need to make some decisions on how to live my life. So tell me, what’s it worth dieing for? And I want you to know, that what ever you tell me, that’s how I’ll live my life.’” The Rabbi continues, “You don’t like Abrahams choice, so what’s yours.”

The man knew he was trapped, whatever he says, the Rabbi would counter, you made your choice, and Abraham made his, what’s the difference? So the man replies “I’d tell my son it’s not worth dieing for anything, you just stay alive.”

The Rabbi answers, “What happens if your son says, ‘Dad, I don’t understand, if there is nothing in this world worth dieing for, that what did you bring me into this world to die for? When you chose to have me, you didn’t know anything about what my life would be like. You didn’t know if I’d be rich or poor, happy or miserable, full of joy or suffering. The only thing you knew when you brought me into this world is that one day I would die. I thought that meant that there was something you can get out of life that’s worth dieing for.’ What Abraham taught Isaac was that there one this in this world worth dieing for – your connection with G-d. Don’t sell you life (or your children’s life) short.”

Once that lesson was made clear to Abraham and Isaac, G-d tells Abraham not to kill Isaac, but instead raise him with that understanding.

This was Abraham’s basic philosophy – “I choose to live, and if necessary to die, for the reality of one G-d”.

Let’s all let this story put our lives in perspective and help us make more informed decisions.

Parashat Vayeira

This weeks Torah portion is filled with one dilemma after another, and culminates with one of the most famous dilemmas in the Torah. We start with Abraham, then go to Lot, then Sodom and Gomorrah, then Abimelech and finally it all culminates with the Akedah.

The Torah views all these events as being somehow related. The Akedah story is led into with the phrase “And it happened after all these things”. If this parashat was simply a chronology of events, then it would be clear that the Akedah happened after all these things The fact that the text makes that explicit, suggests that there is not only a temporal relation, but a deeper one.

Each of these events contain a moral dilemma which Abraham has to address (in the case of Lot, Abraham is only indirectly involved). It is his response to each one that leads to his ultimate test – the Akedah.

In the second of last dilemmas, Abraham tells Abimelech that Sarah is his sister. Consequently, Abimelech takes Sarah. G-d tells Abimelech that he is a dead man for taking Abrahams wife. Abimelech confronts Abraham and asks why he did not tell him Sarah was his wife. Abraham’s response was “I saw there was no fear on G-d in this land, and I knew you would kill me for my wife.” Apparently, Abimelech’s kingdom would not commit adultery, but would not think twice about kill the husband so that the wife becomes fair game (compare that to our society where we would not kill someone, but adultery is OK).

It was this response that made the Akedah necessary. Basically Abraham was saying that morality was whatever G-d says. So G-d’s response was “OK, if morality is whatever I say, then go kill your son.” Now Abraham is in a bind (no pun intended), he just rebuked Abimelech for not following G-d’s will, so how can Abraham not do what G-d asks of him – even if it means killing his own son.

Of course we all know how it ends up (if you don’t read your Torah). I’ll tell you a story about the consequence of the Akedah next time.

G-d vs Man

This week’s Torah portions (Vayeria) starts with an interesting few phrases. Basically it says that G-d appeared to Abraham as he sat outside his tent; then Abraham saw three travelers and went out to greet them.

Two questions should arise from this.

First, G-d appearing to someone (even Abraham) is a big deal. Why does the Torah not record the content of this encounter? Rashi and Rambam give two different accounts.

Rashi says to look back to then end of last weeks portion. Abraham had just circumcised himself. G-d was visiting the sick. That’s why the content of the meeting was not recorded, because when you visit the sick, what you talk about doesn’t matter, it’s your being there that makes the difference.

Rambam takes a different approach. He says to look to the next verse. The three travelers Abraham saw were a vision. This vision was the context of the revelation.

The seconds question is as follows. The text basically describes the scene as follows. Abraham is chatting with G-d, then Abraham sees some visitors. Abraham tells G-d to hang out in his tent for a while so he can go greet his guests. Talking to G-d is a significant event, how can you tell G-d to wait while you greet guests?

If you take Rambam’s explanation (above), there is no problem. The guests were just a vision. But if you take Rashi’s then there could be an issue here. This issue is one of the great ones facing the Jewish world today. What comes first, G-d or Man?

Abraham did not view this as a dilemma. He viewed dealing properly with your fellow man as a way of showing honour to G-d. That is the accepted Jewish view, but too many people seem to loose sight of that and honour G-d instead of man, rather than honoring G-d through man.

Lets all try to keep that in mind when conducting our interpersonal relationships.

Parashat Lech Lecha – Part 2

"Sarai said to Abram, G-d has kept me from having children." (16:2)

Sarai and Abram are the first recorded case of infertility in human history. This hits especially close to home given the two miscarriages my wide and I had in the span of 6 months while trying to start a family.

Up to this point in the Torah, no less than 25% of the narrative deals with who gave birth to whom. Clearly, children were central to ones identity. This is still the case today, but (perhaps unfortunately) to a lesser extent. It is clear from the narrative that Sarai and Abram loved each other very much. In a truly unselfish act, Sarai offers her concubine to Abram as a second wife, knowing full well the bond that could develop between Abram and Hagar, at her expense. Sarai wanted so much for her husband to have children that she was willing to take that risk.

Abram was torn between the desire to have children, and the love for his wife. Though clearly yearning for a child, Abram, as the first Jew, would not consider taking another wife. The Torah does not tell us that Abram married Hagar; instead it says that Sarai took Hagar and gave her to Abram. While Abram surely treated Hagar with honour and respect, the Torah records no conversations between the two.

This seems to be a case of infertility treatment. The couple wanted to have children naturally, but when the wife saw she couldn’t, she did everything in her power to give her husband a child. In those days, the only infertility treatment available was taking a surrogate, today there are many more options. This passage is where Judaism derives its ruling on the permissibility of fertility treatments.

Rabbi Jay Kellman writes “And Abram came to her, and she conceived” (16:4). The birth of Yishmael no doubt evoked mixed emotions. Surely Abram and Sarai where happy that Abram was no longer childless, but no doubt Abram, perhaps even more so that Sarai, felt sadness that his child could not be her child.”

It was the selflessness of Sarai’s act that is why she merited a son of her own. And it is this amazing marriage that should be a model to us all.

Parasha Lech Lecha – Part 1

As with many of the early parahas in the Torah, Lech Lecha is so full of meaning that I could spend an entire year learning about it.

There are two thoughts that stand out for me, so I’ll talk about hose briefly.

First, this parasha contains one of my favourate lines. It’s one that really opened my eyes to the prophetic truth of the Torah. When talking about the book of Genesis, Nachmanides (and may others) use the phrase “The actions of the fathers are assigned to the children.” We could understand this on two levels. On a microcosmic level, we see that what happens to the characters in these early stories will be repeated by their children. But on the macrocosmic level, these stories set up the guidelines for the basic interactions between Jews and non Jews for all of history.

G-d starts the parsha by telling Abraham to "Go from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you. (Genesis 12:1) I could talk about that line for pages, but instead I want to talk about what G-d says a few lines later. I will bless those who bless you, and curse those who curse you, and through you, will be blessed all the families of the earth." (Genesis 12:3) G-d tells Abraham that he and his descendents (the Jews) will be under G-d’s protection. Nations that are good to the Jews will prosper, those who treat them poorly fill falter, and the whole world is going to be changed by the Jews.

Poland was a nothing country. They passed a set of laws that were amazingly good to the Jews. The Jews flocked there and Poland became a major power. Poland then turned on the Jews and look at them now. Same thing with Spain, Germany, Turkey and countless others; you can literally chart the rise and fall of most of histories empires based on how they treated the Jews.

Rabbi Ken Spiro explains: “Part of it, by the way, is not so supernatural, because if you have a group of people living within your country -- an educated, driven, dedicated, loyal, creative, well-connected people -- and you're nice to them and you allow them to participate and contribute in a meaningful way, your country is going to benefit. If you crush those people and expel them, you're going to suffer, because of the economic fallout. But, of course, there's much more going on than just that.”

Next, I want to talk about the personal connection with this parasha.

Jewish Education – Story Number 2

I recently saw an interview with the Principal of one of the largest Jewish day schools in America. He was asked what the greatest challenge was that the Jewish school system faces today. This was his reply:

“Parents spend thousands of dollars a year in tuition to send their children to our school where, along with calculus and chemistry, we are expected to teach some semblance of ethics. Then, on Sunday, the parents take their child to an amusement park and lie about his age in order to save five dollars on the admission fee. To save five bucks they destroy a $15,000 education.”

This answer really had an effect on me. G-d willing, I’ll have the opportunity to raise (many) Jewish children. I intend to raise them in a manner consistent with the teachings of Torah. If I’m going to do that, I need to live in a manner consistent with Torah.

We’re always taught that lying is wrong, yet we see our parents do it all the time; lying about children’s age to save money; lying at customs about the value of good you bring into the country to save some duty feel… Telling the truth is easy when it doesn’t hurt you, but when there is a cost associated with it (especially a monetary one) it is not as easy. I’m trying especially hard to be truthful in those situations. Hopefully by the time I have children to raise (in the, G-d willing, not to distant future) the way I lead my day to day life will be consistent with the way I’d like to teach my children to live theirs.

If we’d all make that same commitment, the next generation will be a great one to be part of.

Jewish Education – Story Number 1

My mother is a teacher at a Jewish day school. The following story was told to her by the new Director of Education at her school.

This new Director, lets call him David, used to be a student at the same school he is now Director of. One day in science class, his teacher calls on another student to do a problem. The student can not do it and the teacher keeps on him and thoroughly embarrasses him for not being able to solve the problem. David is appalled by this speaks out to the teacher, telling him that it’s not proper to publicly embarrass a student like that. Of course, the teacher did not like this and sends David to the principal’s office.

I need to give some context about David here before I go on. His father is from a Hasidic family and was a survivour. David’s father felt that part of the reason for the passivity of many Jews (especially the Hasidic) was that they had always been taught to respect and obey authority figures, so they could not speak out against the Nazi’s. Because of this, his father made an “about face and became Modern Orthodox”. He wanted to make sure his children were able to stand up for what they believed in. David was sent to a more “public” Jewish day school, rather than the more religious one, because his father felt that school would teach his son these principles.

Back to our story. David was scolded by the principle. When he went home and his father found out what happened, his father scolded him. David was lectured on the importance of respecting your teachers and that his actions were inappropriate.

When David was getting ready for bed that night, his father came into his room and said “one more thing… I’m very proud of you for standing up for what you believe.”

My mother has not been happy with the way her school has been run lately. But after meeting the new Director and having him tell this story (with tears running down his face) she decided, you know what, with a man like this running things, maybe this won’t be such a bad place to work until retirement.

Cause vs. Reason

The first session I attended at the “Renew Your Spirit” conference was about “The Jewish Pleasure Principle”. There were several very interesting points made. The most interesting being the distinction between cause and reason.

The following example was used. A team of researchers figured out how to send an electrical impulse to a mouse’s brain to provoke the sensation of being “full” (i.e. having eaten a full meal). They rigged up a leaver in the cage that when the mouse pushed it, rather than a food pellet being dispensed, the impulse was administered, so the mouse thinks it has eaten and is full. This worked very well; the mouse was never hungry and never needed to eat. Of course the mouse died from starvation in a matter of days. The mouse had cause to be full, but no reason.

Now, how does this apply to Judaism? The issue is having cause for feeling pleasure vs. having reason for feeling pleasure. The theme of weddings was used often in the talk. The speaker compared secular weddings, where it is the host’s job to make sure the guests have a good time, to Jewish weddings where it is the guest’s job to make sure the couple has a good time. (As an aside, the speaker branched off to talk about the difference between mixed and separate dancing at weddings. With separate dancing, each couple is there to have a good time with the spouse, and tend to ignore the bride and groom. With separate dancing, everyone takes it upon themselves to dance around the bride/groom to make sure they have a good time.)

The story was told of a Jewish wedding where all the guests had much to drink and were all having a great time. The drink gave them all ample cause to feel pleasure. However, the Rabbi was not pleased; he took a crystal bowl and smashed it to sober everyone up. The Rabbi admonished the guests since the guests had cause to be happy (the wine) but no reason (they were not making the bride/groom happy).

I thought this principle of cause/reason could be applied to many aspects of Jewish life (and life in general). Before we do anything, positive or negative, we need to make sure we have reason and not just cause for doing it.

Renew Your Spirit

This past Sunday my wife and I attended a conference called “Renew Your Spirit” hosted by “Torah in Motion”. The conference had 6 sessions, at each session you could choose between two or three different speakers.

I attended the following sessions:

• Learning to Enjoy our Lives: The Jewish Pleasure Principle - Rabbi Dr. Reuven Bulka


• How We Should Study the Bible and Why it Matters - Rabbi Menachem Leibtag


• Breaking Down the Wall of Stigma and Silence: Mental Health in the Orthodox Community - Leah Malamet & Rabbi Nati Helfgot


• Making Our Relationships Work: Judaism on Love and Marriage - Dr. Rivkah Blau


• Astrology, Science and the Supernatural in Jewish Thought and Law - Dr. David Schatz


• Am I My Brother's Keeper?: Relationships between Orthodox and Non-Orthodox Jews and Movements - Rabbi Nati Helfgot

They were all excellent sessions. Over the next few days/weeks, I’ll try to talk about some of the more interesting ideas.

We also went house hunting this weekend – which involved more Jewish thought than I would have expected. The big issue is living in a Jewish area vs. being within walking distance of our current Shul.

You might not expect there to be an issue here, since the Shul area should be Jewish. However, since the Conservative movement permits driving to Shul on Shabbos, the area around our Shul has become less and less Jewish over the past years. We both really like the Shul and would like to remain members, but we also want to raise out children (when, G-d willing, we have them)in a Jewish area. I’ll kepp you posted on this issue also.