Friday, August 27, 2004

Parashat Ki Tetzei

This week’s Torah portion is made up of many different topics. But what I wanted to talk about today is the first part of the first sentence of the parashat; “When you go out to war against your enemies”. It then continues to talk about morality in times of war, specifically; it talks about how to deal with “beautiful women” among the captives taken during war.

There are many questions we can ask about these few words. First, G-d desires peace in the world, so why is he telling us how to act in war? Shouldn’t G-d be telling us how to prevent war? The main answer here is that the Torah is a set of instructions for living in this world, not some fictional ideal world. G-d recognizes that there is evil in this world, and sometimes war is required to deal with this evil.

Secondly, why does G-d tell us what we can do with females among the captives of war? Wouldn’t the moral thing to do be to free the female captives? Here, again, G-d recognizes the truths about the world and about human nature. “Raping and pillaging” in the aftermath of war seems to be human nature. We’ve seen it throughout history, and we see it today. While this is certainly not admirable behavior, G-d knew that if the Torah were to forbid it outright, the law would be ignored. So instead the law was written that you may take female captives, but you must treat them as a wife, with all the same rights and privileges as any other wife. Rather than outlawing human nature, the Torah controls it.

The concept of morality in war seems to be one that is very topical today. Much of the world criticizes the IDF for its actions against the Arabs, but the irony is that the IDF is the most moral army in the world.

When NATO was operating in the Balkans, it would routinely carpet bomb civilian centers in an effort to destroy military targets within. Five years later, the same generals who ordered those bombing runs, criticize the IDF for targeted killings of terrorist masterminds. When the IDF was faced with a similar situation to NATO, it decided to send in the infantry to Jennin, at great risk to Israeli solders, rather than carpet bomb from a safe height. This decision was made because the IDF wanted to spare civilian casualties.

We often talk about the corruption of power. Israel suffers from the opposite problem, the corruption of powerlessness. Jews had been powerless for so long, their survival dependant on the good will of their neighbours and host countries. When Israel was formed, and the Jews had an army, for the first time in 2000 years, they didn’t suffer from the normal desires of conquest, the suffered from the desire for acceptance. The IDF’s decisions are not based on military considerations, but rather on how the UN, White House and the rest of the world will react. This leads to behaviours that could be considered immorally moral. They are so concerned with morality, that they immorally risk the lives of Israeli soldiers.

Finally, with Rosh Hashana coming up, I wanted to touch on a different dimension of this first verse. A literal translation of the verse is “When you go out to THE war…”. There are two grammatically strange items here. First it’s talking in the singular, not about when the nation goes out to war, but when an individual goes out to war. Secondly, it doesn’t seem to be talking about war in general, it’s talking about a specific war, THE war. The mystical commentaries tell us that this is referring to the spiritual war that each of us must fight within ourselves.

Shabbat Shalom.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Parashat Shoftim – Bribery

As we near the end of the final book of the Torah, the Jews are getting closer and closer to entering into the land of Israel. This week’s Torah portion talks about some of the things the people will have to do once they enter.

The Parashat tells the people that once they enter the land, they must set up judges and police in all of their cities. It then instructs these judges to not pervert justice, not to play favorites, and not to take bribes; because brings can “blind the eyes of the wise and pervert the words of the richeous”.

It’s interesting to note the importance of this commandment to form courts, not only is it one of the 613 commandments that the Jews have to follow, it is one of the 7 Noahide laws that are binding on all people. The seven Laws of Noah are: no idol worship, no cursing G-d’s name, no murder, no theft, no sexual immorality, no eating the limb torn off a live animal, and setting up courts. G-d is saying that one of the seven basics of a moral society is the presence of a just legal system.

The prohibition against taking bribes is an interesting one, because it extends far beyond the realm of the legal system. Doctors being taken out to lunches by drug company reps, businessmen being taken out for a round of golf, these could all be viewed as judges. People say that these things are no problem, because they’re common practice, noting is expected in return, and that the “free gift” won’t sway their decision in any way.

Jewish teachings disagree. The story is told of a wise Judge who sends his assistant out to buy him some fresh tobacco for his pipe. Unknowingly, the assistant goes to buy the tobacco from a tobacconist who has a case being herd by the Judge the next day. The tobacconist assumes that the reason the assistant is buying the tobacco from him, is that the Judge is looking for a bribe (which he wasn’t), so the tobacconist gives the assistant a bag of tobacco and slips a bribe into the bottom of the bag.

The next day the Judge is sitting on a 3-judge panel and hears the tobacconist’s case. The other two judges convict, but our Judge acquits. Our judge has great respect of the other two judges on the panel, so he assumes that he must have misheard some of the evidence. He goes over and over the evidence, but every time he arrives at the same verdict, in favour of the tobacconist. After a few days of this, our judge finally reaches the bottom of his bag of tobacco and sees the bribe. He then realizes what has happened, and knows why he wasn’t able to see the fact straight. Even if you don’t know about it, a bribe will “blind the eyes of the wise and pervert the words of the richeous”.

Shabbat Shalom

Friday, August 13, 2004

Parashat Re-ei – Why Idolatry

In this week’s Torah portion, Moses asks the people to choose between two paths, the path of G-d and the path of idolatry. “I place before you on this day a blessing and a curse.” The blessing is if they follow G-d, and the curse if they do not.

It’s interesting to note, that it’s only in modern times that Jews fully choose the curse. We know from the writings of the prophets that even when Jews strayed from G-d, they did so by practicing idolatry in addition to worshiping G-d, not in place of. They ate Glat Kosher, fasted on Yom Kippur, kept the Shabbas, and then worshiped the idol Baal the rest of the week. Isaiah says “How long will you sit on the fence.”

The question is, if you have a blessing and a curse in front of you, why would someone choose the curse. The question can be paralleled by asking why would someone choose to take drugs when they know that they can cause serious physical and mental harm. The answer is instant gratification.

Everyone wants the good that comes with the blessing. We all want spirituality, meaning and happiness. But if I were to offer you a plan that would guarantee you get those things, and all you have to do is spend 10 years studying Torah, then 20 learning Talmud, then 20 more learning Kaballah, how many people would sign up of my 50 year plan. Even if you know it would work, most people choose not to take that path. People choose the path of instant gratification, even if there is no long-term gain (and potentially long term loss).

Idolatry is instant gratification. When the Jews entered Israel, idolatry was everywhere, on every mountain and under every tree; they were selling it on every street corner. It was a quick high. The Jews that partook weren’t ones who rejected G-d, they just needed a quick fix. They were looking for shortcuts to combine with their worship of G-d.

This choice is easier for Jews today. Because Judaism is not an integral part of so many Jew’s lives, when they want some meaning in life, when they need spirituality, it seems too hard to embrace their traditions, and they look for the quick fix.

Why do we need to pray everyday? Why do we need to follow all the commandments all of the time? What if things are going well and we don’t need G-d’s help. Can we put Juaism on hold and bring it back when we need it (since G-d accepts repentance)? The trick is, that if we let our relationship with G-d get stale, then when we need him, it’s going to be too chard to reconnect, and we’ll look for the quick fix. If we maintain that relationship, then when we need G-d, he’s right there for us.

Shabbat Shalom.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Jonah's Bris

Jonah's Bris was this morning, here is the speech Mandy and I made to our 150 guests.
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Mandy and I would like to thank everyone for being here today to join us in this simchah. The fact that so many people came out to participate in our fulfilling the mitzvah of Brit Milah, is an indication of the amount of love and warmth that will be with Jonah his entire life.

We’d like to thank out parents, for being such great role models. You’ve set the bar for parenting, and we’ll do our best to live up to it… and when we miss the mark, I’m sure one of you will be there to set us straight. We love you all very much, and it’s with great pleasure that we were able to make grand parents out of you. To the four of you, and all the uncles, aunts, cousins and friends, thank you in advance for the many hours of free baby-sitting that we’ll be taking advantage of as soon as possible.

Jonah arrived in a month full of simhahs. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary. Mandy’s parents are about to celebrate their 40th, my parents, their 35th, and my sister is absent this morning, because she is preparing for her wedding, taking place this evening. Mazal Tov to everyone, and may we share many more together.

Naming a child is one of the most important decisions new parents make. The Talmud (Berachot 7b) teaches that a Hebrew name has an influence on its bearer. Hence, it was extremely important to name our baby after individuals with positive character traits who have led fortunate lives and have helped bring goodness to the world. Mandy and I had many such people to choose from. All of our grand parents would have been worthy choices. We all miss them dearly, and we know that while they are no longer with us in body, they are with us today in spirit, and their memory will now be passed on to a new generation.

It is said that parents are actually blessed with prophesy when naming their newborn babies so that they will choose names which aptly describe their children's personas and their destinies in life.

We named our baby Yosheph Aharon. Yoseph, after my Zada Joe (Z”L”), my father’s father, and Aharon, after Mandy’s Zada Harry (Z”L”), her father’s father. The tallis that my father wore while the Brit was performed, belonged to my Zada Joe, and has now been passed on to Jonah.

When a child is named after the deceased, the latter's soul is elevated to a higher realm in heaven and a spiritual affinity is created between the soul of the departed and the soul of the newborn child.

Master of the universe, may your spirit and the souls of Zada Joe, Zada Harry, and all of our loved ones watch over Yoseph Aharon ben Yerachiel Mayer and guide Mandy and I with strength and wisdom so that we may raise our son according to your will… Amen.

L’chaim!


Friday, August 06, 2004

Parashat Ekev – G-d’s Threats

In this week’s portion, Moses continues his farewell address to the Jewish people. This portion contains the second verse of the Shema, where G-d tells of all the good that will come if they follow G-d’s commandments, and the bad that will happen if they don’t

A friend was talking to me about the Shema. He told me that he has a lot of trouble with the second verse, and often he can’t bring himself to say it. His problem was that he didn’t like being threatened. In the verse G-d tells that if we follow his commandments, then we’ll have rain in the proper time, we’ll have cattle, crops, and everything will be good. But if we don’t, then we’ll get no rain, no crops, and we’ll be banished from the land. My friends feeling was that we should be serving G-d out of love, not fear. He said he doesn’t respond well to threats.

At first I didn’t know how to respond, I tried various things, showed him various commentaries on the passage, but nothing helped. He said “I don’t think that anyone can change my mid on this”. That’s when I knew what the problem was. When you hears a phrase like that, you know the person is stuck in a mindset, and to get them to see the other side will require them to look at the issue from a totally different angle. After thinking about it for a few days, here is my response to them.

Don’t look at this passage as a threat, think of it as a warning. The difference is subtle, but important. Consider this situation. A blind man is walking near the edge of a cliff. As he approaches the edge, you calls out and tells him to stop. You tells the blind man that if he walks towards your voice, you’ll grab his hand and take him to safety, but if he steps away from your voice, he’ll fall off the cliff and plummet to his death.

Are you threatening him, or warning him?

This is what’s going on in the verse. Israel is the blind man, and your voice was the voice of G-d in the second verse of the Shema. We are walking around the world oblivious to what is good and bad for our souls. G-d is telling us the facts of the world. Just as neglecting our body will cause us pain, so will neglecting our soul. G-d gives us his commandments, which are instructions from what is good for the soul. If we follow them, we’ll obtain pleasure, if we neglect them, we’ll experience the pain. It’s not a threat it’s a warning. Just as the blind man can’t sense the danger he was in if we would have walked away from you, we can not sense the spiritual danger we’re in if we walk away from G-d.

With this new outlook, hopefully my friend will be able to recite the entire Shema twice daily and continue to serve G-d out of love, not fear.

Shabbat Shalom.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Praying as a Father

This morning I davened Shacharit for the first time as a father.

I read the same words that I have read (just about) every day for more than 2 years, I find many passages take on a totally new meaning. There are two passages in particular that I’ve always felt have spoken to me, suddenly took on an entirely new meaning.

The first one is part of “Birkot Ha’Shachar”, the series of 15 blessings we say to start the service. The 10th blessing is “Blessed are You, Hashem, Our G-d, King of the universe, Who provided me my every need.” I have always related to this in its corollary; “everything G-d has given me, I need.” I used this to keep in mind that everything comes from G-d, the good and the bad. This phrase helped me through the difficult time following our miscarriages. That too came from G-d, and for some reason I needed it.

But this morning, I related to that verse in a totally new way. G-d had just provided me with my son. My son is my every need. This verse now tells me how I have to prioritize my life. Work can be put on hold; other commitments can be put off. My priorities now lie with my son (and, of course, with G-d).

The second passage is towards the end of the service, it is “Blessed is my Lord for every single day he burdens us with his blessings.” I have always felt a connection to this verse, but was never able to put my finger on it. But now, with G-d giving me a son, and experiencing the “burden” of my new priorities, I understand the verse. My son is the greatest blessing G-d can bestow on me, and I thank G-d every minute for “burdening” me with this blessing.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Praying every day

More than two years ago I made the commitment to dawn tefillin and daven Shacharit every day. Before today, I have only missed one day. That was the day we went to Israel. We had to leave our house well before dawn, so I couldn’t daven before we left, and although I really wanted to, I was not yet comfortable davening in the middle of the terminal, or on the flight (especially since the flight would arrive in Israel just as Shabbos was about to start, I didn’t want to answer questions about why someone who is davening on the plane, would travel on the Shabbos).

But today I missed Shacharit for the second time. The reason this time is even better than a trip to Israel. Today, I missed davening because my son was just born. While I may have missed formal prayer, I spent the entire day (and most of the preceding night) in informal prayer for my wife and new son. As spiritually uplifting it is to dawn tefillin, holding my baby in my arms for the first (or second, or hundredth) time brings me just as close to my Creator.

Welcome Jonah Aaron

Early this morning, Mandy and I welcomed our first child, Jonah Aaron into the world. This was, without doubt, the most moving religious experience of my life.

You’ve seen it on TV hundreds of times (or thousands if you, like Mandy, are addicted to Life Network and TLC), but when I heard Jonah’s cry and the doctor announced “it’s a boy”, my eyes filled with tears, and a feeling came over me that I’ve never felt before and that can not be described in words. It was as if G-d himself was standing beside me and giving me the greatest gift imaginable.

Once the nurses cleaned him off and I was able to get close to him, I bent over, and whispered in his ear the Shema. Amid all the confusion he must have been experiencing at that moment, I wanted him to start his life by hearing the words that have sustained the Jewish people for thousands of years. It’s a good thing I was whispering, because anything louder would have come out as a cry.

The nurse then put Jonah beside Mandy (it was a c-section, so Mandy didn’t get to hold him) and the look and Mandy’s face told me she was experiencing the same feelings as I was.

I then got to carry Jonah to the nursery, and on the way a tear filled father introduced Jonah Aaron to the anxious grand parents, uncles and aunts.

This was an experience I’ll never forget, and one that, G-d willing, I’ll get to experience many more times.

May the almighty grant Jonah a long life willed with joy, happiness and thr service of G-d.