Friday, January 30, 2004

If you don’t cry, who will?

A little over 2 years ago, when I was starting my Teshuva, I read an article on Aish.com that really affected me. The article, written by Chezi Goldberg, called “If you don’t cry, who will?”. It was written just after a horrible triple bombing in Jerusalem.

The article asked the question, why are all Jews not brought to tears after every attack? How can we expect other to be outraged by what’s happening, if we are not outraged ourselves. The Talmud teaches that for every tear that’s shed, a drop of blood is spared. If we would all cry, think of all the blood that would be saved.

The authour, Chezi Goldberg, was born and raised in Toronto, and moved to Israel 15 years ago to work as a counsellor for Adolescents and Families at Risk. Chezi Goldberg was tragically murdered in the bus bombing on Jan 29th. G-d willing, some blood will be spared because of the tears I shed upon hearing that.

His article closes with “King Solomon said, ‘There is a time for everything.’ Now is the time for crying. May God protect each and every one of us from our enemies so that we will not have to cry in the future.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

Parashat Bo

In this weeks Torah portion, we read about the final 3 of the 10 plagues, the laws of Passover, and the commandments to wear Teffilin, consecrate the first-born animal and redeem one's first born son (Pidyon-HA’Ben).

There are so many interesting issues in this parasha, it was hard for me to decide which one to talk about. What I decided, was to talk about the Jewish calendar.

Rosh Ha’Shana, is the Jewish New year, it occurs in the month of Tishrei. However, in this parasha, it says “This month shall be to you the head of the months; to you it shall be the first of the months of the year” [Exodus 12:2]. This exchange takes place during the Exodus, which happens in the month of Nissan.

So which is the first month, Tishrei or Nissan?

Rosh Ha’Shana marks the creation of the humanity, so Tishrei was made the first month. Often people accept G-d as a creator who then sat back and let nature take it course. But the exodus, with all its open miracles, teaches us that G-d’s role as director of history is even greater than his role as creator. And that’s why at the Exodus, the order of the months were changed to mar this new relationship between G-d and man.

This notion helps explain another question. If Shabbat commemorates the six days of creation, why is it only the Jews who are commanded to observe it? The answer is found in the text of the Friday night Kiddish, where we declare that Shabbat is to remember creation and the exodus fro Egypt. Because, while G-d created the entire world, it was through the Jewish exodus that mankind came to appreciate G-d as the guiding hand of history.

Shabbat Shalom.

Monday, January 26, 2004

More on Answering Prayers

I was listening to a class on “How to be spiritual in an unspiritual world”, the class talked a lot about prayer and it got me thinking on the issue.

I wanted to share a few insights from the class, and a few of my own.

First the class talked about the reason for prayer. If we understand the reason, we have a better chance of understanding the answers we get to our prayers. The example that was given was a farmer who is having a bad season, praying for crops. In this case, the goal of the interaction is better crops, the method of getting the goal, it by praying. Sometimes the prayer succeeds (in the form of better crops), and sometimes it fails. It’s very hard to understand why it works sometimes and not other times.

That’s all from the point of view of the farmer. Let’s look at this same situation from G-d’s point of view. G-d created us for the purpose of having a relationship with him – the ultimate pleasure in life is to connect to G-d. So from G-d’s point of view, the goal of the interaction is prayer and the method is the providing/withholding of crops. Let me say that again, from G-d point of view, the goal of the interaction is to connect to G-d, and the way G-d gets you to seek the connection to him is by providing/withholding something.

This all revolves around the issue of the soul. I’m not going to get into the issue of does the soul exist, the issue is which of these two statements are more connect “I have a soul” or “I am a soul”. There is a profound difference in how you perceive the world, based on which one of these you believe. This is an issue that came up in my exploring Musar, and an issue I plan to further explore and talk about at some later time.

Next the class talked about the two kinds of prayer. It did this by comparing the two parts of the morning service. In Psekei D’Zimrah, we thank G-d for all that he has given us. In the Amidah (which is the bulk of the 2nd part), we ask god for all that we don’t have. The Amidah is considered to be the more significant part of the service. Asking G-d for what we don’t have is deemed more important that thanking him for what we do. I’ll certainly need to think about that one more before I fully understand the message, but it certainly has the ring of a profound observation.

In the next few postings I’ll talk about some insight on prayer that I have had as a result of this class.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

The Answering of Prayers

When Mandy and I were going through our miscarriages, I obviously did a lot of praying. Aside from the obvious prayers for Mandy’s health and for us to have a child soon, I also prayed for the wisdom to understand the message G-d was trying to send us.

I understood that G-d is in compete control of everything, and that even the miscarriages were part of G-d’s plan. Mandy and I had both prayed for a child, and while our prayer was answered, it seemed to be answered with a “No”. I knew that there was a reason for the negative answer to our prayer, G-d was sending us a message, and it’s up to us to decode it. So I prayed for the wisdom to do that.

This past weekend, I think my prayer may have been answered. I think I may understand a tiny part of message.

Before the miscarriages, our greatest fear about having a baby was that Mandy would not be able to get pregnant. It took her parents many years to conceive Mandy and her sister. When we prayed to G-d for a child, G-d’s answer wasn’t “No” it was “Not right now”. But G-d didn’t want us to worry that we would be unable to conceive, so we conceived very easily both times, but then lost the pregnancy. We are now no longer worried that we’ll be unable to conceive. And we now have a pregnancy that, G-d willing, will carry through.

There is still another part of the message that is unclear, why were we not to have a child at that time? I don’t think we’ll be able to answer that one for a long time … until we have enough perspective to look back on these events. Maybe it was because we needed to visit Israel (and we would not have gone if the first pregnancy would have held). Maybe it was because we needed to be brought closer to G-d, or to each other. All three of these things were consequences of the miscarriages.

I don’t know that we’ll ever KNOW what message G-d was sending to us, but I thank G-d for giving me with wisdom to get a glimpse of what the message might be.

Friday, January 23, 2004

Parahat Va-Eria

This weeks Torah portion continues the story of the Exodus from Egypt. We get up to the point of the seventh plague.

The overriding question that needs to be asked about the early part of the book of Exodus is; If G-d wanted to take the Jews out of Egypt, why the long drawn out process. At any point G-d could have snapped his fingers (so to speak) and the Jews would have been out of Egypt and standing at the foot of Mount Sinai waiting to receive the Torah.

The classical explanation goes something like this. To understand why we needed the 10 plagues, we first need to understand the Jewish view of miracles in general. As Rabbi Spiro puts it

    ‘Judaism holds that nature does not act independently of God, but, at the same time, God created the laws of nature and does not interfere with them. God is certainly capable of doing whatever He likes, but He doesn't play around with the physical world and its workings. Therefore, most miracles are natural phenomena with awesomely good timing.’

But to this rule, the 10 plagues were a notable exception. There is no natural explanation for the 10 plagues; they are a clear example of G-d flipping the laws of nature on their end.

So why did we need them? Egypt was a very spiritual, but very idolatrous society. The essence of Idolatry is that every force of nature has its own god. The Egyptians worshiped the Nile god, the sun god, the cat god the sheep god… The 10 plagues were designed, by G-d, to show the Jews and trhe rest of the world that the idols are false, that he alone controls the entire world and everything in it.

As Rabbi Spiro points out:

    "If we examine the plagues carefully we can readily see that each one was designed to show God's control of all forces in nature: water and earth, fire and ice, insects, reptiles and mammals, light and darkness, and finally, life and death."

Abraham was given a mission; this mission was given to the entire Jewish people at Mount Sinai. That mission is to change the world, to bring the entire world to the realization of one G-d. This process was needed so that the truth of G-d becomes entrenched deep in the Jewish soul.

Looking at it that way, we see that the process of Exodus is not over. That’s why on Passover, we spend the first half of the sedar talking about the past (the story of Exodus) and the second half talking about the future. The Exodus is an ongoing process that will end in the time of the Messiah (may it come speedily in our days).

Shabbat Shalom!

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Some very good news

I didn’t want anyone close to me to find this out by reading my blog… but now that I’ve told people I can post it here.

Mandy is pregnant again! We’re now about 14 weeks, which is well past the 8-10 weeks point that caused us so much trouble the last two times. G-d willing, the baby is due Aug 1st.

That is going to be a busy time for us. We take position of our new house the week before that, and my sister is getting married on Aug 8th. So if the baby is born on the due date, and it’s a boy, the bris will be on the day of Laurie’s wedding… which could work out well, since all out family and friends would be in town.

Needless to say, since finding out the news, there has been a lot of praying , my me, Mandy and our families. I ask anyone reading this (if there is anyone) to pray that Mandy’s pregnancy be carried through to completion in health and safety for the mother and unborn child. And that the child be delivered to the word at appropriate time, complete in all its limbs and senses, so that we may raise it according to G-d’s will.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Davening

I got a very nice complement at Shul the other day.

That morning I got to Daven Psukei D’Zimrah. After service, as I’m packing up my teffilin and tallit, one of the other congregants comes up to me and said “I just wanted to tell you that you’re a very inspiring davener.” I thanked her, and we spoke for a few minutes about how I’ve been moving towards traditional Judaism in the last few years.

While that warm fuzzy feeling you get from a complement is always nice, this was more than that. On any given weekday, our minion consists of the Rabbi, Cantor, Torah reader and usually about 15 congregants. Of those 15, there are 3 (including one woman) of us who are not saying Kaddish. Five or six of us take turns leading service. Of those, I’m the only one who is not saying Kaddish.

I go to Shul for purely selfish reasons. I’m not there to say Kaddish for a loved one (G-d willing I won’t be in a position to need to do that for a long time). I’m not even there to help make the minion. I’m there because the spiritual lift I get from starting my day off with davening is enough to carry me through the rest of the day.

When I pray, I don’t simply mouth the words. I think about what I’m praying, I concentrate on different parts of the prayers, depending on my need that day. When I pray to G-d, I do it with “all my heart, all my soul and all my might”.

It’s nice to see that this feeling comes through.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Parahat Shmot

This week we start the book of Exodus (or Shmot, as it is called in Hebrew). Genesis was about the creation of the family of Israel. Exodus is about the creation of the Nation of Israel.

The portion starts with the enslaving of the people, through to Moses being born, the burning bush and Moses going before Pharoh for the first time (basically the first act of the movie “The Ten Commandments”).

A few interesting notes; the 210 years of slavery (which is a fundamental art of our history) take up less than 10 sentences. Contrary to popular belief, the Jews did not build the pyramids, they build the Store Cities of Pithom and Raamsees. And of interest to me, Moses had a stutter (that’s why he asked G-d to appoint Aaron to be his spokes person).

I think most of us know the story, so I wanted to talk about something more subtle. The book starts with “And these are the names of the sons of Israel who came into Egypt…”. It goes on to list all the sons, then it says “And all the souls that came out of the loins of Jacob were 70 souls…”(1:5). This is not a completely accurate translation. The Hebrew word used for “souls” is “Nefesh’, which means soul, not souls (singular not plural). The plural is Nepeshim, which is used in many other places. So what the text is saying is that “All the people who came into Egypt were 70 soul.” 70 people came, but they were all part of one soul. That is the unique soul of the Jewish people.

I could talk all day about that idea. But instead, I just wanted to point out the lesion this teaches us about Torah study, every word is carefully chosen, so we need to pay careful attention when reading and understand the text as it is written (in the original). This has become unfashionable in modern times, Jewish learning focuses on Talmud, but there is much to be learned for a careful reading of the Torah.

Shabbat Shalom.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Parahats while we were gone

The Torah portions while we were away basically were the story of Joseph – the last 3 in the book of Genesis. I wanted to talk, just briefly, about Joseph’s sons – Menasha and Ephraim.

Every Shabbat, a father blesses his children. For daughters he blesses ‘May G-d make you like Sarah, Rebecca Rachel and Leah.” For sons he blesses ‘May G-d make you like Ephraim and Menasha.” The question is why Ephraim and Menasha, why not Abraham, Isaac and Jacob?

The explanation holds special relevance in today’s world. Ephraim and Menasha were raised by an Egyptian mother, and the Prime Minister of Egypt, living in an Egyptian palace in a country whose beliefs are antithetical to Judaism. Yet they still were aware of their heritage, and were practicing Jews.

The blessing we give our Sons is that we hope that G-d will guide them to their Jewish heritage, even if we are surrounded by foreign culture. The interesting thing is how well the blessing seems to work. Children who received this blessing each week growing up, are far less likely to intermarry and far more likely to be connected to their heritage.

You’ll probably say that it works the other way around, they’re not connected to Judaism because they received the blessing, they received the blessing become they are connected. The Sages teach that “Even more than the Jews kept the Shabbas, Shabbas kept the Jews.’ I think the same thing may apply here.

G-d willing, I will get to bless my children (and grandchildren) in this way for many years.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Mussar

On the trip I read the book ‘Climbing Jacobs Ladder’ by Alan Morinis. Mussar is the Jewish spiritual tradition. It’s similar to man eastern religions in practice, but not philosophy. Basically it’s a way to perfect the soul.

The tradition is that the soul has many traits (kindness, anger, compassion…). Each person has unique levels of each of these different traits. We are able to modify these levels. Mussar teaches how to recognize these traits, decide which ones need work, and tells you how to work on them.

The interesting aspect about the book, is that the authour was non religious. He wanted to learn (and use) Mussar, without becoming more traditionally observant. He discovered that the two are separatable, and he was able to learn and use Mussar (including spending time in a Yeshiva) without becoming Orthodox.

I’ll write more about this as I learn more, but I encourage any Jews who have been attracted by Eastern Religions to give it a read.

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Going to Shul in Israel

Davening in Israel was a special experience. Most of the time I did it in the hotel room. Davening by the window looking out onto Israel was especially moving.

I went to Shul 3 times. We went to the Great Synagogue in Jerusalem for Kabalat Shabbat, then to the Conservative Synagogue in Jerusalem on Shabbat, then at the Hotel Shul in Eilat one day.

The Great Synagogue was magnificent. We only ay the last 20 minutes of the service, but it’s a beautiful building, with an outstanding Choir.

The Conservative movement in Israel is very small, so this was a very small Shul (maybe seats 150 people). The service was almost identical to what you would find here. The former Rabbi from Mandy’s family’s Shul was the Rabbi there until he retired a few months ago. I had just bought a new Tallit, so I got to wear it for the first time for Shabbat Service.

The Minion in the Hotel was Sephardi, Orthodox, and all Hebrew. It was a little hard to follow, but I managed. They needed me for the minion, so I was happy to go, even if I was a little confused.

Friday, January 09, 2004

We’re Back

We’re back from what can only be described as the “Best Vacation Ever”!

We had a great tour, a nice visit with some cousins, a great time in Jerusalem, and a nice relaxing few days in Eilat. The weather was great for touring (15-18 C, and sunny), but a little too cool in Eilat to swim in the Red Sea (21C).

We both felt perfectly safe there. Other than a security guard at the entrance to every store/hotel/restaurant, things really weren’t much different from last time I was there (12 years ago) You just have to get used to seeing people with M16’s slung over their shouldersJ

It was a little depressing to see how few tourists there were there. Many businesses were closed, markets were empty… but the merchants who were there were all very happy to see us and offer us great deals if we did our business at their store.

We are currently trying to figure out when we’ll be able to go back. Mandy’s cousin has a Bat Mitzvah in 2 years… that might be a good time. I could see us moving there some day (but right now High Tech workers and Family Doctors are not really in demand there).

Israel really has everything, religion, history, nature, culture, shopping, beaches… I encourage everyone to visit. It really is one of the best countries in the world.